Pull my finger, capitalist pigs

I don’t think this is an April Fool’s joke by the Beeb, but even if it is, I love it:  Bomb blows hole in Lenin statue.

One of Russia’s most famous statues of Vladimir Lenin has been bombed, leaving the Bolshevik revolutionary with a gaping hole in his rear.

The bronze statue, in the city of St Petersburg, was badly damaged before dawn on Wednesday, when the blast blew a hole in Lenin’s coat.

The picture, though, is what truly makes this work:

That’s Communism in a nutshell, kids.  It just smells like vodka farts.

Distractions

Here’s your WTF moment of the day:  House passes bill taxing AIG and other bonuses.

Acting with lightning speed, the Democratic-led House has approved a bill to slap punishing taxes on big employee bonuses from firms bailed out by taxpayers.

The vote was 328-93.

OK, so let’s recap.  AIG was contractually obligated, by employment contract with certain of their employees, to pay these bonuses.  Senator Christopher Dodd (D-CT) slipped a provision into the Porkulus bill specifically allowing the bonuses…or maybe it was the Obama Treasury Department that wanted him to do it.

The bonuses come to light, and suddenly, every Democrat (and some Republicans) between Capitol Hill and Pennsylvania Avenue is screaming for blood–including the very people who knew the bonus provision was in the bill.  This, of course, after it comes to light that the two biggest receipients of AIG campaign cash were…wait for it…Christopher Dodd and Barack Obama.

So as a result, the House, spineless lemmings that they are, has now passed a bill that basically targets about four hundred bonus-receiving households with a 90% punitive tax rate–and in noted tax-cheat Charlie Rangel’s words, “we were figuring the state and local would get the other 10%.”  These people who received the bonuses have not been convicted of a crime.  They have not gone through any legal due process.  They’re simply going to have the government yank 90% of these contractually-obligated bonuses away from them–legally it may not be a bill of attainder, but it sure looks damn close, doesn’t it?.  While Chris Dodd and Barney Frank and the people who did as much as any “fat cat” at AIG to fuck up the housing market get away scot free, and the people at AIG have to live with death threats.

Meanwhile, we’re flushing hundreds of billions of dollars down the toilet of a useless pork-laden “stimulus package,”  crushing our children with debt, and talking about loading even more taxes for “carbon neutrality” on top of that, and nobody cares.  But you let AIG give out $165 million in bonuses, and Uncle Teleprompter is on the case, man.

Posted in news, rant. 2 Comments »

This just in: Groundhogs have teeth

That is a fact which New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg seems to have forgotten this morning:

Perhaps lashing out against budget cuts for local zoos, or perhaps just because he wasn’t ready to be awakened from his winter nap, Staten Island Chuck took a nibble out of Mayor Michael Bloomberg’s hand during this morning’s Groundhog Day festivities at the Staten Island Zoo.

“His hand was nicked,” a Bloomberg spokesman said. The mayor is up to date on his Tetanus shot, so he simply washed his wounded finger and put on a bandage.

(Video of the shocking groundhog attack is available at the link.)

Word is coming down that in response, Mayor Bloomberg is going to propose new taxes on groundhogs, groundhog food, people who own groundhogs, everybody who lives on Staten Island, and teeth.

The world’s greatest complaint letter

Richard Branson’s got some work to do to mollify this frequent Virgin Airlines flier:

Ironically, by the end of the flight I would have gladly paid over a thousand rupees for a single biscuit following the culinary journey of hell I was subjected to at thehands of your corporation.

Look at this Richard. Just look at it:

I imagine the same questions are racing through your brilliant mind as were racing through mine on that fateful day. What is this? Why have I been given it? What have I done to deserve this? And, which one is the starter, which one is the desert?

The whole thing is available at the Daily Telegraph, misspellings and all, including Virgin Atlantic’s response, and pictures of the lovely food that this gentleman was served on a Mumbai-Heathrow flight in December.

Maybe those tiny AirTran bags of peanuts and warm flat Cokes aren’t so bad after all.

Child labor laws, Chicago PD style

Methinks some heads are going to roll over this one:

A 14-year old boy has been charged with impersonating a Chicago police officer after police say he walked into a station house and ended up partnering with another officer on a traffic assignment for about five hours Saturday before he was found out.

Police spokeswoman Monique Bond said the youth wrote no tickets and did not interact with the public.

The Chicago Tribune, citing a police source, said the youth identified himself as an officer from another district. He was “detailed for the day to Grand Crossing and also was savvy enough to sign out a police radio and a ticket book,” the Tribune says.

No word if the 14-year-old asked if the police car had “cop suspension, cop tires, and a four hundred forty cubic inch Chrysler cop motor.”

Now, that’s the official line from the Chicago PD.  But a blog by an anonymous Chicago officer, Second City Cop, tells a slightly different story:

This is classic. A male/1 in full uniform walks into the 3rd district desk and tells them he is from 005 and was sent there to work a traffic car. They get him a locker to use and call in the traffic car. He signs out a radio and jumps in with the female officer and away they go. They handle a traffic accident and when she realizes he doesn’t have a ticket book they go back into the station and he signs one out.

Away they go again. This time he asks if he can drive and she lets him. They write a few tickets and finish their tour.

So according to somebody that’s actually inside the CPD, not only did the kid write tickets, he actually drove the police car.  Oh, and the kid in question?  He’s been busted twice before for impersonating a police officer and was thrown out of a Police Explorer program in December, 2007.

I think the moral of the story here is, Marty, next time you or Shannon get pulled over, ask to see the officer’s middle school ID before signing the ticket.

Posted in news. 3 Comments »

Wasting no time

Well, our new President wasted no time in getting down to some of the business he promised during the campaign:  Obama issues directive on detainees, interrogation, Guantanamo.

The national security orders mandate that interrogation techniques in the Army Field Manual be used by all intelligence and law enforcement services; call for a task force to look at closing the detention center in Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, within the year; and order a strategy be developed for handling detainees in the future. The presidential directive also orders a stay in the case of Ali Al-Marri, the only person being held by the military as an enemy combatant on U.S. soil.

(snip)

The executive order says everyone in custody should be questioned under the Army Field Manual, which is intended for honorable combatants, meaning POWs in a military conflict. The rule would prevent trained interrogators at the CIA from using lawful interrogation techniques against terrorists who have been trained to withstand Army Field Manual techniques.

(snip)

According to sources in the law enforcement community, the executive order on interrogation does not declare “enhanced interrogation techniques” to be torture; the order is silent on that.

“This allows for a lot of flexibility, a lot of wiggle room,” said one source.

(snip)

Administration officials indicated they do not want detainees outside of the U.S. to get habeas corpus rights or rights similar to those enjoyed by U.S. citizens. The Obama administration will likely go to Congress for what it wants to accomplish.

This was expected, really.  He’d said he was going to make closing Gitmo a priority.  But that begs the question of what to do with the residents.  That last paragraph above tends to indicate to me that really, not all that much is going to change, and that’s confirmed by the rest of the article (yes, it’s Fox News, go read it anyway, you won’t catch Murdoch cooties if your anti-virus and firewall are up to date).  If they don’t get habeus corpus rights, that sounds like they won’t be tried in US courts.  So what’s different from the military tribunals, and if they’re removed, what replaces them?  They’re still working on that part.  It’s going to take a while to unravel it all.  And it’s made more complicated by the fact that even if Obama wanted Gitmo closed tomorrow and all the detainees released, many of them can’t be.  Nobody will take them back, or they’re very likely to get tortured in their home countries.

As for the interrogation changes…no problems here.  I’m not comfortable with waterboarding or some of the other techniques being used, except in the direst Jack Bauer-esque circumstances.  Again, this was expected.

And finally, for those of us that are pro-life like me and Wife Unit, a taste of what we (and the unborn) can expect from the Obama administration:

Separately, the administration issued a reversal of a ban on federal funding for non-governmental organizations working outside the U.S. that offer abortions or abortion counseling.

Obama signed the executive order on the 36th anniversary of the landmark Roe v. Wade Supreme Court ruling that legalized abortion in all 50 states.

First the banks, then the automakers, and now…

…say it ain’t so, Santa.  Say it ain’t so.

WASHINGTON – Flanked by officials from the United Elf Toytinkerers union, SantaCorp CEO Kris Kringle today told the House Ways and Means Committee that without immediate government financial help, his firm would be forced to declare bankruptcy, lay off thousands of elves and reindeer, and potentially cancel its annual worldwide Christmas Eve toy delivery.

“These are grim economic times for everyone, but even more so for non-profit toy manufacturers in the Snow Belt,” said Kringle. “Our accountants have indicated that we are on track to exhaust our reserves of cash and magical pixie fairydust by December 23. Oh deary me.”