6:40 in the morning on a Tuesday. First light is starting to leak through the window behind my monitor.
And I’m sitting here at the keyboard. Went to bed at 12:40. Woke up at 5:15 to the sound of Fat Cat pawing the bathroom floor where he just peed. Then I had to go back 30 minutes later and clean up the load of crap he dumped on top of the pee spot.
I’m sitting here trying to figure out how we’re going to avoid overdrawing our checking account and running up a ton of fees…and failing.
I’m sitting here getting madder and madder at reading friends’ blogs where my political, religious, and moral beliefs get mocked again and again and again…and I’ve got no backup out here except my wife.
I’m sitting here waiting for the next Bad Thing to happen…a car to break down, a medical emergency, anything–that we don’t have money to handle.
I’m sitting here praying that we can somehow, someway, turn this slide down Shit Mountain around and start seeing the joy in life again, instead of an endless stream of exhaustion and tears and fear.
And I’m sitting here trying with all my mental strength–not a strong point of mine before dawn–not to break down into a crying fit because it would wake up my wife sleeping behind me. And I have to be strong. For her, and for Nublet, if not for myself.
And it’s only 6:50 on a Tuesday.
God help me. It’s going to be a long day.