How to destroy your aviation career in seven easy steps

There’s nothing to it:

1.  Fly into Harrisburg, Pennsylvania.

2.  Go out with one of your flight attendants and get hammered.

3.  Decide that you and the flight attendant need to…um…frolic in the great outdoors.

4.  Go out in the woods, get naked, and do the horizontal mambo.

5.  Get separated and wander off into the woods naked while your flight attendant consort breaks into a marked fire department SUV in search of a flashlight to find you.

6.  Get so lost in the woods they need a Pennsylvania State Police helicopter with infrared equipment to find your naked ass.

7.  Make sure you do all this even though you have a 7:30 flight to Detroit the next morning, thus violating your employer’s rule forbidding drinking within twelve hours of reporting for a flight.

I sure do hope that was really good sex, you two.  Enjoy your new careers.

PS:  Here’s a picture of the happy couple outside court where they were sentenced:

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