Moose Droppings

The insane ramblings of a fat white Southern guy and his 291 imaginary weasels.

Archive for June, 2008

Welcome to our world, Bill

Posted by Linedan on 25 June 2008

Isn’t it nice to know that even as the rest of us have to deal with his bloated pig of an operating system (o hai Vista!) and blue screens of death, Bill Gates has to deal with them too?

From: Bill Gates
Sent: Wednesday, January 15, 2003 10:05 AM
To: Jim Allchin
Cc: Chris Jones (WINDOWS); Bharat Shah (NT); Joe Peterson; Will Poole; Brian Valentine; Anoop Gupta (RESEARCH)
Subject: Windows Usability Systematic degradation flame

I am quite disappointed at how Windows Usability has been going backwards and the program management groups don’t drive usability issues.

Let me give you my experience from yesterday.

I decided to download (Moviemaker) and buy the Digital Plus pack … so I went to Microsoft.com. They have a download place so I went there.

The first 5 times I used the site it timed out while trying to bring up the download page. Then after an 8 second delay I got it to come up.

This site is so slow it is unusable.

Read the entire thing.  Even though it’s outdated (from 2003), it’s pretty epic, and probably very similar to what a lot of us have said while dealing with Microsquish’s various apps and websites.

Hat tip:  Free Republic.

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Pat Buchanan has jumped the shark

Posted by Linedan on 20 June 2008

From Townhall.com via Free Republic:

That Hitler was a rabid anti-Semite is undeniable. “Mein Kampf” is saturated in anti-Semitism. The Nuremberg Laws confirm it. But for the six years before Britain declared war, there was no Holocaust, and for two years after the war began, there was no Holocaust.

Not until midwinter 1942 was the Wannsee Conference held, where the Final Solution was on the table.

That conference was not convened until Hitler had been halted in Russia, was at war with America and sensed doom was inevitable. Then the trains began to roll.

The central thesis of Buchanan’s article, and his latest book Churchill, Hitler, and the Unnecessary War, is basically that World War II wasn’t necessary.  Buchanan’s theory is that Hitler wasn’t really such a bad guy after all–oh sure, there was that whole anti-Semitic thing, and the Anschluss, and Krystallnacht, and the destruction of Bohemia and Moravia…but he would’ve stopped if Chamberlain and Churchill had just let him swallow Poland!

It’s one of the most unreal pieces of historical revisionism I’ve ever seen.  Buchanan takes some facts–that Hitler really didn’t want a war with Great Britain–and ignores others–that Hitler was willing to take the risk of a war with Great Britain in order to conquer the Slavic lands to the east and gain his Greater German Reich the Lebensraum he thought it needed.  He places more blame for starting both World Wars on Great Britain than on Germany.  Never mind that Germany struck first in both cases (invading Belgium in 1914 which brought Britain into the war by treaty, and invading Poland in 1939 after Britain concluded a mutual-assistance pact).  In Pat’s World, it’s all Churchill’s fault.  I guess he thinks that Winston and Adolf should’ve become BFFs and both marched eastward to drop the hammer on Uncle Joe Stalin.  Darn nice concept, imagining Joe Stalin doing a Benito Mussolini from a lamppost while the Wehrmacht and the Coldstream Guards dance to “Lili Marlene,” but it ignores the simple fact that Adolf Hitler was a megalomaniacial dictator who ended up breaking every treaty he ever signed (except the Axis itself).

What really pisses me off isn’t so much that Buchanan went there.  Anybody who’s followed Pat for a while knows that he’s a borderline anti-Semite, and has a somewhat, uh, odd view of history.  It’s the fact that the mainstream media continues to give this guy a platform as a “conservative spokesman.”  He’s NOT.  Pat Buchanan, right now, is about as far outside the conservative mainstream as Barack Obama.  And you can’t convince me that at least some media outlets bring Pat on as a “conservative spokesman” knowing damned good and well that he’s a kook, and use that fact to discredit the right in general.

If you want to see Buchanan’s latest literary cat turd get sliced, diced, folded, spindled, mutilated, scattered, smothered, and covered, check out the gibbing that historian Victor Davis Hanson gives it.  Or just sit back like I am and enjoy the well-deserved bitchslapping that the conservative blogosphere is giving Pat.

EDIT:  Y’know, I just thought of something.  Pat Buchanan’s reminding me of Chamberlain.  No, not Neville Chamberlain.  Another Chamberlain.

Posted in politics, rant | Leave a Comment »

OK, so if this one’s not a terrorist…

Posted by Linedan on 19 June 2008

…then you know alcohol has got to be involved.

A drunk passenger who tried to set the curtains of a Boeing 767 on fire during a trans-Atlantic flight is in custody in Vienna, Austria, the Transportation Security Administration said Thursday.

There was no apparent connection to terrorism, officials said.

Zoltan Lensky, 25, a Slovakian citizen, was on Delta Flight 40 from Atlanta, Georgia, to Vienna Wednesday night when flight attendants refused his request for more liquor.

According to TSA spokesman Christopher White, Lensky slapped a flight attendant on the hand, moved forward in the cabin, pulled out a lighter and tried to ignite the curtains around the flight attendants’ rest area.

A federal air marshal on the flight arrested Lensky and put him in handcuffs, White said. Lensky was handed over to authorities in Vienna when the flight landed.

Three things of note here:

1.  CNN’s photo editor doesn’t know anything about aviation…because that picture is of an MD-88, not a 767.  About a four-thousand-mile difference on the range there, Chuck Yeager.

2.  Some Slovakians are, apparently, really mean drunks.

3.  Doesn’t it make you feel so much better that the TSA is making ninety-year-old grandmothers take off their bloomers for cavity searches while this guy gets a lighter through the checkpoints at Hartsfield-Jackson?

UPDATE 10:00 6/20/08:  Holy crap, CNN linked back to little ol’ me.  Does this mean I’m famous?

Posted in news | 3 Comments »

Proof positive…

Posted by Linedan on 19 June 2008

Posted in news | 4 Comments »

Associated Press hits bottom, digs

Posted by Linedan on 17 June 2008

From Boing Boing via Free Republic:

In the name of “defin[ing] clear standards as to how much of its articles and broadcasts bloggers and Web sites can excerpt” the Associated Press is now selling “quotation licenses” that allow bloggers, journallers, and people who forward quotations from articles to co-workers to quote their articles. The licenses start at $12.50 for quotations of 5-25 words. The licensing system exhorts you to snitch on people who publish without paying the blood-money, offering up to $1 million in reward money (they also think that “fair use” — the right to copy without permission — means “Contact the owner of the work to be sure you are covered under fair use.”).

It gets better! If you pay to quote the AP, but you offend the AP in so doing, the AP “reserves the right to terminate this Agreement at any time if Publisher or its agents finds Your use of the licensed Content to be offensive and/or damaging to Publisher’s reputation.”

Suggestion to the AP: Take one of those lawyers that you’re cocking and locking to launch at bedroom bloggers like me, and have him go look up something called fair use. You might be surprised.

The Associated Press reminds me of a dinosaur, peacefully munching ferns in the jungle, and when it sees the giant meteor hurtling through the sky that spells its doom, it rears up and hisses at it. As one of the comments at Free Republic put it: “At first I thought market evolution was killing off the lamestream media. These days, I’m convinced the MSM is determined to commit suicide as quickly as possible.”

Posted in news, politics, rant | 13 Comments »

How awesome is my wife?

Posted by Linedan on 15 June 2008

As a Father’s Day present, she got us tickets to see Robert Plant and Alison Krauss at the RBC Center on Friday, July 11.

So.  Incredibly.  Awesome.

Posted in personal | Leave a Comment »

Where’s my pipe and fedora?

Posted by Linedan on 12 June 2008

Yeah, when it comes to being a 1930’s husband, I busted the curve, biatches…

101

As a 1930s husband, I am
Very Superior

Take the test!

Posted in personal | 2 Comments »

How to destroy your aviation career in seven easy steps

Posted by Linedan on 11 June 2008

There’s nothing to it:

1.  Fly into Harrisburg, Pennsylvania.

2.  Go out with one of your flight attendants and get hammered.

3.  Decide that you and the flight attendant need to…um…frolic in the great outdoors.

4.  Go out in the woods, get naked, and do the horizontal mambo.

5.  Get separated and wander off into the woods naked while your flight attendant consort breaks into a marked fire department SUV in search of a flashlight to find you.

6.  Get so lost in the woods they need a Pennsylvania State Police helicopter with infrared equipment to find your naked ass.

7.  Make sure you do all this even though you have a 7:30 flight to Detroit the next morning, thus violating your employer’s rule forbidding drinking within twelve hours of reporting for a flight.

I sure do hope that was really good sex, you two.  Enjoy your new careers.

PS:  Here’s a picture of the happy couple outside court where they were sentenced:

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Random acts of kindness

Posted by Linedan on 11 June 2008

Have you ever had something really good happen to you…and not have the slightest clue how to handle it?

Wife Unit and I are slobs.  There’s no getting around it.  My last bachelor apartment before I got married didn’t get nicknamed the Dumpster of Love for nothing.  (As contrasted to our poorly-insulated apartment in Richmond, which I dubbed the Refrigerator of Love for those bracing winter mornings where it was 45 degrees in the closet, or our current place, the Landfill of Love.)  Then add on top of our natural slob tendencies, the fact that she’s been dealing with depression for over a year, and that I work full-time and am not in great physical condition and am just lazy in general, and…yeah.  We don’t have a lot of people over.  Maintenance notices tend to cause us much heartburn and frantic cleaning to get certain rooms up to a minimum oh-Jesus-please-don’t-evict-us standard.

So Wife Unit has a good Livejournal friend that lives nearby, Ursula.  Urs, a few weeks back, told us that she wanted to do something nice for us…she was going to get a couple of people together from her church and do some apartment cleaning for us.  If you saw what our place looked like, you’d realize that even the offer, much less the execution of it, is grounds for beatification.  We took her up on it, and the time was set…last Saturday.

Saturday morning, Urs rolled in, followed by her Sunday school small group leader, Anthony.  Wife Unit had made sure that suitable snacks and drinks were laid up and ready, and at that point, we left and gave them free rein over the entirety of the Landfill of Love, while we headed to the North Carolina Museum of Life and Science up on the other side of Durham.  We proceeded to have a wonderful morning.  The Museum impressed the hell out of me; it’s incredibly kid-friendly, with interesting indoor exhibits, and an outdoor climate-controlled butterfly house.  But the heat was brutal, and by 12:30, we were gassed, even after a half-hour lunch in the air conditioning.

We called Urs…and were told that the cleaning crew (now swollen to four people) wasn’t done yet.  But, Anthony immediately said, “oh, no problem, you can go to my house, I live nearby.”  And he called his wife, and made it so.  Thus it was that a half-hour later (after a sweaty 100-degree blast-furnace ride in my wife’s car, Stubby, with no air conditioning) we pulled up beside Anthony’s house and met his wife and their two cute kids, ages 5 and 2 1/2.

Nublet needed a nap, and without hesitation the wife insisted we put her to bed in their daughter’s room.  We retired downstairs to sit, watching Ax Men on the History Channel and trying to get our core temperature back down to somewhere in the neighborhood of 98.6 F.  Close on 3 o’clock, she came into the room, said, “I have to take the kids to a birthday party, if you leave before I do, just lock the back door.  Bye!”  And left.

Leaving two total strangers…in her house.  Alone.

These days, that in and of itself is stunning, that someone we’d never met before would trust us to hang out in their house alone.  But the day wasn’t yet done, and things were about to get even more mind-blowing.

Urs called about 3:45 and said they were done.  So we packed up and drove back over…and got the shock of our lives.

The place was clean.  No, not just clean.  It was move-out clean, and veteran renters know what I’m talking about.  Both bathrooms and the kitchen had been scrubbed to a fare-the-well.  All the carpets were completely vacuumed.  Every single toy had been picked up out of the floor.  The kitchen sparkled, with a load of clean dishes in the dishwasher and everything else loaded into the cabinets.

But wait, there’s more.

Our second bedroom has always been our “computer room,” while Nublet slept in our room.  No more.  They completely cleaned all the detritus out of that room, broke down our computers, and moved them and the tables they sat on into our bedroom, placing them perfectly for us to hook them back up later.  Then they took the bed we’d bought Nublet months ago but hadn’t had time or space to set up, and set it up.  They bought storage containers and bins and put away all her toys.  They turned that room from the epicenter of a geek slobquake into a nice room for a two-and-a-half-year-old girl.  They even got more storage bins and cleaned out the side alcove near the apartment entrance, the one that Avery had briefly turned into a beading nook before it got taken over by boxes.

We just stood there, dumbfounded.  I kept looking around for the TLC cameras, because surely we’d walked into some home makeover show, right?  The only way we could tell it was the same apartment we’d left eight hours earlier was that the stains on the carpet were still in the same place, and yes, that was still our ugly sofa…only now, we could see all of it.

Four people busted their ever-loving asses for eight hours on a 100-degree day, to do something nice for people that they barely knew, or had never met.  They gave up a Saturday with their own families to work like dogs for total strangers.

I’ll admit it.  After Urs left, I cried a little.  Cried because (a) I’m not used to having people do something this nice for us, ever; and (b) it makes me examine myself, and I’m not sure I like everything I see.

What we got on Saturday goes far, far beyond a clean apartment.  There’s a lesson in it.  I just hope I’m smart enough to learn it…and remember.

And to Ursula, Anthony, and their friends:  Thank you.  Words can’t express how much this meant to us.

For a lot of different reasons.

Posted in nublet, personal | 2 Comments »

Now Playing II

Posted by Linedan on 7 June 2008

Stevie Ray Vaughan and his Stratocaster “Number One”, at their sweaty best. This was recorded live at Toronto’s El Macambo in 1983.

Posted in music | Leave a Comment »